Thinking About Fatherhood...

Increasingly I find myself thinking about what kind of Dad I'm going to be. Given some of the winners out there, I'm guessing I won't be the worst dad ever. I won't A) be selling my baby for crack, B) get arrested for beating up any little league coaches, C) take the kid with me to the bar to blow into my court ordered breathalyzer ignition lock, or D) be Alec Baldwin.

Bill Murray said it best in Caddyshack - "So I got that goin' for me."

Another thing I've got going for me is that I have been lucky enough to have been raised by a couple of terrific people. Not to say I'm not going to make some adjustments. My dad's closet circa 1989, was full of clothes that might have been slick in 1975. To be fair, most of it came back in style, but on the other hand, it's not like he had any idea that would happen, or would have cared had he known.

If it was physically possible my dad showed up to all my wrestling matches, even if he didn't have time to change from his fatigues to street clothes (he frickin' hated being out in public in fatigues). But he was there.

My mom on the other had is one of the strongest people I know, and she has over the years taught herself caligraphy, started her own business as an artist, gotten her paralegal certification and more recently decided that getting her Masters in foreign languages was the only thing consuming enough to take her mind off the fact that she is living in Kansas.

But more importantly my parents both tried to do the right thing, and I know that the examples they provided me are a big part of the reason I've survived my own stubborn-headed, self destructive, sometimes immoral, most times offensive, bouts with stupidity. Given how many of those I had and how long they lasted, I marvel that they managed to survive. And assuming whatever god may or may not be out there has a sense of humor, I can only imagine what I have to look forward to.

I am going to do my damndest to make sure my kid has the same advantages I did in when it comes to parents. They'll know that I love them and support them in what they do. They'll know that even when daddy has grown up responsibilities to take care of he'll be there when it matters.

They'll know that part of a happy fulfilling life is the continual push to better yourself, to keep learning, to never stagnate or get so comfortable - or busy - with life that they stop experiencing new things or stop learning more.